My Englisch is not the yellow from the egg!

AUA! @Asphyxia

"Two Martinis, bitte."
"Dry?"
"Nein, I said TWO!"

@saba_key
das muss ich mal bringen :D

I'm Winnetou! Are you Old Shatterhand????????????
No, I'm Winnione!
@saba_key

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun,
stupid Jill forgot the pill...

now they have a son.

Well done! (reimt sich! :) ) @poet

Yes, that must you bring ... but not by me... @Asphyxia

American and a German are out hunting rabbits.
German aims, shoots and misses by 10mm to the left.
The rabbit remains still.
German reaims, fires again and this time misses by 10mm to the right.
German slings his rifel on his back and walks off.
American asks, why not shoot again, your sure to hit this time.

German replies "on average ze rabbit is dead"

@Cardinal
you can either agree with me or be wrong. :D

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

@saba_key

@Cardinal

I don't understand i' m tschörman.

Now a brillant one, i have opened a second window:


The difference between heaven and hell:

In heaven;

The English are the policemen.
The French are the cooks.
The Italians are the lovers.
AND THE GERMANS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING!

But, in hell;

The English are the cooks.
The French are the policemen.
The Germans are the lovers.
AND THE ITALIANS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING!

@saba_key

that's a blody good one... hihi

I'm a good lover @saba_key

Ein Allmystery-Mod (perfekte Arbeitsbedingungen) macht Praktikum bei der Küstenwache:

German Coast Guard - Lost in Translation

Externer Inhalt
Durch das Abspielen werden Daten an Youtube übermittelt und ggf. Cookies gesetzt.

:D

;) @saba_key


The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

I have jogging grad!

I am going tomorrow to a hightime

What for a hightime? @JackTheHipster

A hightime (hochzeit) of my Brother