My friends, it has often been said that I like banning people. My friends, I like banning them. No, friends, I LOVE BANNING THEM! I love to bar them. I love blitzbans. I love defensive bans. I love siege bans. I love mop-up bans, and retreats. Bans across threads, in chats, in posts, in boxes, in private messages, due to spam, insults, manners, I love every act of ban that can occur in this Forum! I love blasting our users to smithereens with ban salvos that thunder across the lines of allmystery.
My heart leaps with joy whenever a user is tossed high into the air and is cut to pieces by well placed ban rounds! And there is nothing like a moderator banning a troll to destroy spam ambitions. And the feeling when a user runs screaming from his blazing thread only to be mowed down by heavy machine ban fire is such an exquisite feeling.
It moves me deeply to watch a fresh young user getting banned over and over again. The sight of mass-bans strung up on a thread is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing then the sounds of excluded user dropping like flies, screaming in agony, as they are mowed down by ear-piercing perma-bans! When a band of pitiful resistance trolls makes their final stand with nothing but pathetic spam, only to have their posts smashed to atoms word by word by 4.8 ton banshells, I am in ecstasy.
Gentlemen, all I ask for is ban. Bans so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms what is it you really want. Do you wish for further bans as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody bans? A ban whose fury is built with iron and lightning and fire? Do ask for a ban to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth?