Arranged / Forced Marriage

Well, I think this is a very popular and really importent theme for the world.

For all, who don't know the meaning of "arranged marriage":
An arranged marriage isone where the parents arrange fr their children to marry, rather than the child findinghis own partner (a love marriage)

Why parents force a marriage?
Do youlive in such a marriage?
What are the disadantages and advantages?
ARE thereandy advantages??

I think it isn't goot. Forced marriages violateinternationally recognised human rights, and may be viewed as a way of oppressing woman,by controlling their behaviour and sexuality !


Allmygirl 2oo6 ღ
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oђη℮ RaDii℮RguMmii ..
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Why parents force a marriage?
Do you live in such a marriage?
What are thedisadvantages and advantages?
ARE there any advantages??

I thinkthe reasons for doing those things are mainly a) economical reasons or b) culturalreasons or c) a bit of both of these things.

No, I don't, thought I amnot even married ;-)

The advantages are...hm...maybe that you don'thave to waste time, searching for the right person, and can concentrate on other things;o), ok this is not a pretty good advantage, but I can't think of any more important;o)

The disadvantages are that you can't select your partner by yourown, maybe he is brutal, maybe he dislikes you, maybe you will never feel real 'love' tohim or her

Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in...

@kikuchi

I think the reasons for doing those things are mainly a) economicalreasons or b) cultural reasons or c) a bit of both of these things.

Economical reasons? Give me an example please, i can't understand in wich way it iseconomical to marry another person you don't even know ;)

And about culturalreasons .. on the one hand you're maybe right. In the Asian community there is a stigmaattached to divorce, and divorcees are often regarded as social outcasts and failures.But the question is "Why" ? ..


Allmygirl 2oo6 ღ
Das Ł℮B℮η iisT Z℮iicђη℮η
oђη℮ RaDii℮RguMmii ..
uηD iicђ HaB Miicђ V℮RmaŁт ............

You like to have an example? Here it is:

You are the prettiest girl in yourfamily, you are e.g. the youngest daughter, and your age is 14. Your family is very poor.
One day, a rich man sees your face, and feels attracted to it, you parents agreewith him, that you will have to marry him, for a certain amount of money.

But the question is "Why"?

The answer is "power". When you are a man in suchculture, you feel privileged, and you don't want that some time, women have equalchances.

The preservation of the so called 'Status Quo' is a very good reason todisagree on sexual equality.


Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in...

You are the prettiest girl in your family, you are e.g. the youngest daughter, andyour age is 14. Your family is very poor.
One day, a rich man sees your face, andfeels attracted to it, you parents agree with him, that you will have to marry him, for acertain amount of money.

Oh, i think then everything's diffrent and thesituation changes ! But i don't think that Asians in the UK oder also in German, maybealso in Austria have got a really problem with poorness.
I just believe that mostmarriages depends on the parents' motives - they just try to help find a suitable spouse! .. They want the best, but for sure : it isn't the best.

I'll never livetogether with someone I don't know or I don't like ...

The answer is "power".When you are a man in such culture, you feel privileged, and you don't want that sometime, women have equal chances.

Really horrible ..

Allmygirl 2oo6 ღ
Das Ł℮B℮η iisT Z℮iicђη℮η
oђη℮ RaDii℮RguMmii ..
uηD iicђ HaB Miicђ V℮RmaŁт ............

You have to distinguish between countrys like Germany, Austria, and countries like India,Saudi-Ariabia and so on.
In Europe purposes for an arranged marriage will mostly befound within the religous and cultural background of those persons.


Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in...

in india the most reason for such a marriage is money... there are not so muchgirls/womans in india and thats why the parents can ask for more ca$h.... get it?

RoCk oN FuCkerzZ

۞We hide behind the crimson door...look, and you'll understand...۞
-=üRveR=-

one of the main reasons for arranged marriages is to 'keep the money in the family'.
for example.. 2 rich, powerful , industrial families arrange for their children toget married for the simple reason that the money stays where it is.

the otherreason is probably become sich rich , fat, ugly moron who can'T get a girl on his own,would pay a poorer family to marry one of the 'pretty' daughters.

another reasonwhich is plausible, is that parents want the best for their kids, and in arranging asuitable partner for their child is understandable.

only in extreme cases do the'people who are arranged to be married' not see each other till their marriage day.

in the rural areas it was also seen as 'honorable' to have an aranged marriage.

dowry is also a big part of arranged marriages where the girl's family gives a giftof money and gold to the boy'S family so that he can take care of the girl as she hasbeen taken care of by her parents.



What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

@kikuchi

"I think the reasons for doing those things are mainly a) economicalreasons or b) cultural reasons or c) a bit of both of these things.

Theadvantages are...hm...maybe that you don't have to waste time, searching for the rightperson, and can concentrate on other things ;o), ok this is not a pretty good advantage,but I can't think of any more important ;o)"

You say you can't think of any moreimportant advantages... but you gave an answer yourself:

"the reasons for doingthose things are mainly a) economical reasons or b) cultural reasons or c) a bit of bothof these things"

these are the advantages of an arranged marriage... of coursefrom the point of view of the parents, not of the son/daughter.

I don't thinkthere is any personal advantage for the son/daughter at that point.

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
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Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.

finding the right person.. yea.. arranged or not.. there are no guarantees!

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

Unfortunately not... but that makes life interesting, I guess.

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
--------------
Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.

yea.. we learn through experiences!! however good or bad they may have been!!

better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all ???

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

As you say!! Yea that's right... You'll never know what happens if you don't try... andif you never try, how would you know that it couldn't have been good and right?

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
--------------
Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.

absolutely right!! but sometime or the other it's 'game over'...

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

Just never give up =)

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
--------------
Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.

yea.. POSITIVE THINKING!!!!!!

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

haha...

but back to topic... I would shoot myself before I'd marry someone thathas been chosen for me... WTF! o.O ---excuse my French---

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
--------------
Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.

yea, i would too.. i mean, unless you meet the person... get to know the person and ifyou still have the chance to decide... that would be ok.. i mean , you'D still have theoption to choose!

on the other hand, those arranged to get married don'T reallyhave that choice and they go ahead with the planned marriage just to please theirparents. what happens after that is another ball game alltogether.

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

"on the other hand, those arranged to get married don'T really have that choice and theygo ahead with the planned marriage just to please their parents."

No, not toplease their parents... they do it because they HAVE TO do it... they can not reallychoose, like you said, they have no choice.

And if you would have the option toget to know the person and get a chance to decide... then it is not a real arrangedmarriage... ;) then it is just a kind of suggestion for you lol

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
--------------
Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.

yea, but some are not so extreme!! some of them do have a choice.. and if they choosenot to marry the person, then they get another choice!!! MEAT MARKET!!!

believeme.. 90% of those arranged to get married do it to please their parents.

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud

Hmm... okay, I shall believe you... since I don't know anyone personally whose marriagewas arranged lol

Die Zukunft wirst du nie erleben, denn in dem Moment da du meinst die Zukunft zu erleben ist diese bereits lebhafte Gegenwart um sich dann in unnahbare Vergangenheit zu wandeln.
--------------
Mit unserem Leben bezahlen wir, dass wir leben.