Getting a woman: Checklist
[ ] Make sure, that your money can be recognized through either a big car or fine clothing.
[ ] Get your muscles contracting everytime a woman crosses your way.
[ ]
IMPORTANT: Evacuate your brain.
[ ] Make your BMW-car key visible. Either by laying it on the table or randomly letting it fall down. Make sure the woman recognizes the emblem shown on the key. If you're not sure if the woman did see it, just say following sentence: "Oh the key for my BMW just fell off, I will have to pick it up, if I don't somebody could steal that precious big and powerful vehicle".
[ ] Be as cool as frozen pizza. If you're not sure if you're cool enough, do following test:
Breathe at your cola. If it freezes and the glass crushes, you are the coolest stallion in the house.
If it doesn't: Do the BMW-trick. It works always.
[ ] Don't show any kind of humour. Woman may say that they like it but in fact it decreases your existence down to "pal". Once "palled" not even the BMW-trick may get you out of that trap.
[ ] Don't be kind after getting into conversation. There is an enormous danger of getting "palled".
[ ] Don't make her lough after getting into conversation. Remind the trap.
[ ]
NEVER EVER let a doubt on your enormous money supply. It's your insurance. It's as reliable as the BMW. It's quite more reliable since a BMW gets crumbled when driven by woman.
[ ] Be an
asshole. It's a confirmed fact that women quite always return to those who had hurt them most. Don't get confused by the tears of her. It shows that you can beat 'er up and she will always return believing that you would have changed after THIS time.
[ ] Wanting a smart guy is a method of confusing men. Like gum-tanks have been a method of confusing Stukas. You don't need to be smart if you can camouflage your stupidity with either money or BMW. Best case: both. Intelligence means that your just a guy capable of answering questions and reparing computers as well as washing machines.
[ ] If you don't have money, muscles, beautiful appearance and/or a big fat car: commit suicide or become gay. Or date a fat one like
@Hammelbein did.
